Wednesday, July 27, 2005

A good Man

The myth of "Mr.Perfect" can drive a woman insane! some women are wondering "where is he", "when will I ever meet him" and others would say "there's no such thing" or simply "Crap!"..
I'm one of those who never believed in Mr.Perfect. I am NOT Ms.Perfect after all.. Maybe "he" really exists, but that does not mean that I'll have to look for him, He'll find me!!!.. no seriously, I am just trying to be positive, why should a woman look for Mr.Perfect??!! a woman simply needs a good man. so stop whining about it and think..

Good men are indeed all around us. We pass them on the streets, in the malls and the halls at work or anywhere else. Most we can't see because we don't know what a good man really looks like. He usually isn't flashy enough to turn our heads. But, as you mature, you realize it's better to find someone who's got your back than someone who turns your head.

A good man doesn't necessarly agree with everything you say. He doesn't just tell you what you want to hear. He doesn't show how sensitive, sweet, caring, sincere he is, sometimes he won't have to because it shows. He has his own opinions and you may clash, but he doesn't have to degrade you to prove he's right. He even admits at times to being wrong, especially if you are willing to do the same.

A good man is not going to be everything on your "checklist". He is human with weaknesses and faults mixed in with all of his wonderful, strong attributes. He needs your love and respect. He needs to feel that you don't live to "catch" him doing something wrong so you can say, "Ahha! I knew you were an asshole!!"

A good man doesn't necessarily give you an expensive birthday or Valentine's gift. He shows his love in the ways that are comfortable to him. Don't judge him by "TV standards". No one is living a fairytale for real. You'll miss out on your own fairy tale by buying into the myth that "all men are no good". It's just not true.


Shopaholic Q8eya said...

“All men are no good” if you keep looking for Mr. Perfect!

Papillona ® said...

Shopa! bismillaaaaah! I just posted it! LOL

yes girl you are absolutely right!

Spontaneousnessity said...

but I love birthday and valentine's presents :(

samboose said...

I couldn't have written a better post on the subject!

Women have to put their own standards into what they want in a man. Don't get that picture perfect vision in your head. Be reasonable. Are you an item of perfection? How can you expect that of another, be it man, woman, child or otherwise. Being differnet is good, embrace your difference instead of fighting them and trying to make a copy of yourself in him.

There are criteria, yes you should have those but you should also be accepting of faults. Are you the type of person that love to be smothered with love...for me I find it suffocating but I do expect that morning call of "Good Morning Habeebti...slept ok.....any plans....have a good day"..etc

It's all about YOUR needs.

When it comes to compromise you have to think very wisely. What would you and wouldn't you compromise. Some things are worth fighting for others...well not so much. The thing you should ask yourself when compromising is this "Does this change me as a person, who I am as an individual?" That's how you know when to draw the line.

Clearer explanation I loooooove to socialize I mean that's a part of me I can't change. Asking me not to socialize changes me as a no THAT I will not compromise. However I can compromise how much I got out. I didn't compromise my personality I compromised it's extent. Everyone's happier that way.

It's being an added value in someone's life. You to him and him to you. An investment of a lifetime of happiness.

samboose said...

P.S. Tell me if I blab a lot, I tend to do that;)

Salted-Caramel said...

"It's better to find someone who's got your back than someone who turns your head". Hehe.. I like this line. ;) Turning heads can break your neck lol.

There's no such thing as "perfect". No one is perfect. We all have faults and imperfections.

Good men are great! ;)

Kay said...

الرجل حيوان ناجح

Papillona ® said...

Sponta, do they have to be expensive? and btw, the picture on you post made me write this, after reading thecomments ofcours :)

samboose, true!
-there should be reasonable standards
-accepting of faults is important, we are no angles :)
-what's the point of being with someone if he's a copy of what you are! stay sinlge!
or get a mirror instead.
-Think wisely, you're good at that I can tell

-When it comes to compromising, you compromise when you can compromise otherwise do not compromise when you can't be compromised LOL (a stupid joke)

woman! I enjoy reading your comments :)
thank you :)

Papillona ® said...

Salty, good men are just perfect ;)


I am sorry but I DO NOT AGREE with you at all!!
We're all humans no matter how bad a human can be, they can never be compared to animals. that is very insulting.
I can understand how upset a woman could be, but it is never a good excuse..

Papillona ® said...

wicked, maybe you should give yourself a chance to think possitive :)

seriously, we should try harder not to be negative about life issues.. it will help you deal with situations in a different way, a lot easier to handle :) what do you think?

Shopaholic Q8eya said...

I wrote this comment yesterday before you changed your mind and saved it as a draft ;P

Blossom said...

This post is like a wake-up call !

It is so ture , but I would also say that men should seek perfection even if they are unable to!

Nice post Saroonah :)

E3younAlbak said...

good men are everywhere... there's the saying a good man is hard to find... but is that just a good man... or a man that's good to/for you?? <3 ya girls... and you move faster than i do!!

Salted-Caramel said...

Wicked: Shino "7aywan naji7"? What do you mean?? I'm with Sarah; comparing humans with animals IS an insult.

Papillona ® said...

shopa! I see i see :)

Blossom, thank you awesome :)

e3younalbak, a man that is good to you is a good man :)

Spontaneousnessity said...

la7tha inzain 7aywan ok we know it's an insult, bas laish naje7?!

samboose said...

Define good? What standards are you using. To you a good man might have certain qualities that others may find not so good.

You can never generalize, you have to keep an open mind. Don't expect everyone to view things the same way you'll never work.

But one thing is very important in all cases....Respect. A man who respects you will always be good to you. I mean don't get me wrong, it's not the only thing...i'm sorry but I do need chemisrty because the thought of being grossed out turns my stomach.

samboose said...

Wicked: your statment gives men the right to call us bitches.... treat others the way you want to be treated. If you want them to call you names then go ahead do all the name calling you want. But I will not stand for that not for myself and certainly for all women.

E3younAlbak said...

look at her, that Sarah answers the question by putting the words in a different order :) you never seice (its 4 am and im still awake... you know what i mean) to amaze me :)

Spontaneousnessity said...

oh and Sarah, no they don't have to be expensive "all the time" hehe, I love when they get me stuff I really really like it tells me they know me, that itself makes me so happy as well as I love giving and seeing how happy it makes others :)

vincent said...

I just wanted to say this since the what a girl wants post bas i kept this to my self, ma marat 3alaikom enna what a man needs on a girl? gabul la ta7kemon 3al men try searching for what he needs in a woman, hal ayyam 6al3en el banat eb shaqla yededa etha yah wa7ed ebyetzawaj first thing mabi ommek , ekhwanik and other things o i say mo3tham mo ga3ed a3amem 3al mawthou3.
as I always say el nas etgol I want this and o mathat 7ad yakheth ela naseba maybe you wont get all what you've always wanted bas el 7elo enna yekon qano3 belle 3enda o elle khatha o works his way out eb his life.

Papillona ® said...

samboose, I totally agree with you .. RESPECT RESPECT RESPECT and chemistry.

e3younalbak lol get some rest sweetie

Papillona ® said...

sponta, yeah very true, I love "simple stuff" too ;)

vincent, just as individuals are different, needs are different too.. the whole point of the post is for each to set her own standards and to be reasonable (qanoo3a). and about marriage (il nasab) that is another issue my dear :)

Spontaneousnessity said...

To Vincent, Sarah please allow me to answer that :) first of all e7na we’re not judging men, we are elaborating what generally is preferred in a man by intellectual women, as you may have noticed yes we happen to be very rational and logic, what you suggest is that we figure what a man wants and become “it” :) sorry but that’s too degrading, I would change something if I knew was bad about me generally but to completely change because that’s how men want me? Nu’uh! we are not asking men to change into what we think would make them perfect, we are just here to express our thoughts on what would make a man perfect “in our humble opinion” .. we know that type of women you mentioned does exist and maybe a lot, and here’s the good part, you are not obligated to go for that type just like we don't have to go for less than a good man :)

Papillona ® said...

well said sponta

samboose said...

Spontaneousnessity very well put!! Vincent we are not asking men to change. It's more of what our expectations are and what's our needs as women. If you read my post earlier what I want to repeat is this "It's being an added value in someone's life. You to him and him to you. An investment of a lifetime of happiness." I speak about both parties not just men.

vincent said...

Im not against what you've said Everyone has the right to get what he wanted and earned im against what wicked said and also the way the subject turned out.

samboose said...

Vincent, I agree with you when it comes to Wicked's comment.

Devilish said...

Great ! Very wise I must say ! Reality unfortunately is totally different than movies ! I noticed many tend to expect outcomes of things that happen only in movies !

W. said...

I dont believe in a "Mr Perfect"

frankly, they freak me out.. especially if they want to be friggin perfect so badly..


Papillona ® said...

devilish, thank you :)

W. yeah they could get freaky LOL

Bloo said...

i know i said this before ** am i slow or what!!!**

girls ur not giving me time to read ur post.. or just tell me am i really slow?

* i like ur blog.. but i can't keep up!*

ya3ni , its not enuf reading the post.. the comments are worth more.. so u either make ur blog less famous, or limit the numberof ur posts and the comments.. 3ad intaw kaifkom :(

now, i've spotted a perfect man, and for 4 months, i've been trying to find a single flow in him... yl3an khayra *excuse the langugae* ma feeh 3aib wa7ed.. so if any one is actually looking for mr perfect. i have one over here :D

Papillona ® said...

Vintage, about the problem of not keeping up, we're working on it.

you have Mr.Perfect??
four months huh? I'll give you more time and you should update me, LOL

or maybe he's Mr.good guy..

Hopeless Poet said...

Nobody is perfect, and I am that nobody ;)

Papillona ® said...

hopeless poet, Hello nobody

Wild_Mare said...

Hellooo !!! Am I reading a post for Carrie bradshow from Sex and the city !!! :)

the same goes to Ms.Perfect . so men stop looking for her as well ;)

Sarah .. you're just emmmmmmmm a WOW writer :)

Papillona ® said...

wild-mare, awwww.. im speachless :)

Brava Valentia said...

there is no such Mr.perfect cuz simply no one is ever perfect ,, (WE) do seek perfection but we usually die before reachin it !
b3deen imagine a perfect MAN ! that's BORING !
lazem shwaya fee a'3lat ;p

cosimfree911 said...

well awal maraa ashoof wa7daa et4agel albanat al3adaa eyzedonhom eynoan

well yes all you need is mr good hes the best

bs walaa very nice post keep it up
i hope that u find ur mr good

Edjamacated Guy said...

if nobody is perfect, could it be that mr perfect is a make-believe version of the prince in cinderella?

Saad said...

i hate to burst everyone's bubble, but its all about chemistry girls. If you click or not

Spontaneousnessity said...

Sarah, :)

Samboose, :)

devilish, let us enjoy our moments ;)

you guys how did this turn into a Mr. Perfect matter!? no one said anything about a Mr. Perfect!! she said GOOD MAN!! think outside the box :P

Papillona ® said...

Interesting comments

Papillona ® said...

mother courage, a perfect man is boring??? wallah intaw yal 7areeeem.. ma ya3jibkom il3ajab!!

cosimfree911. thank you! keep reading ;)

edguy LOL madri he's not my type

saad :)

Sponta! I did, LOL read the first line.

E3younAlbak said...

in response to the 4th post on this topic, i have to say samboose - you hit the nail on the head. i agree with you 100%!!!

Phantom Man said...

DUCHESS OF BERWICK. Oh, all of them, my dear, all of them, without any exception. And they never grow any better. Men become old, but they never become good.
"Lady Windermere's Fan" by Oscar Wilde.

PeTiTa said...

"We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly." The most important thing about a man is that he respects you and that when you need him he will always be there

Spontaneousnessity said...

LOL ee walla! I was more taken by the "a good man" over "a good man" lines I guess hehe back to the point to the commenters WHO SAID ALL MEN ARE BAD! shfeekom! this is just a clarification of a point of view! chill budies ;) ham think outside the box hehe

Equalizer said...

There are no standards for the "perfect man" yes its very true that it is based on individual needs. Every person wants a majority of things to be satisfied in order to accept the other person. A girl once told me I want someone whose got experience with other girls. Shocking to some, normal to others. Should we define if this is good or bad? I know guys who are looking for girls who drink, and that is "good" to them, as opposed to guys that preffer not. The definition of "good" is more personal than anything else. People who are religious for instance define "good" as the way it is laid down to them, the same way it is defined by parents. So to sum it up "good" is defined by the person, by religion, or by parents. In which category do you fit? In my case, it is all.

Papillona ® said...

phantom man, I do not agree

M. you are absolutely right

hehehe.. shway shway 3alaihom

Papillona ® said...

equalizer, I couldn't agree more :)
in my case, "good" is defined by me, based on what I have experienced and what I have learnt. I am not much of a follower, ofcours what I have learnt could be from "parents" and "religion" they might affect my choices in some ways, but as I mature I try to make my own choices and set my own values.

Molecule said...

Seems to be a popular subject

samboose said...

E3younAlbak ;)

Equalizer my point exactly what works for one person might not be ideal for another.

christina/ohio said...

True,no one is perfect but somewhere out there is a perfect man for each of you.:D That doesn't mean he is perfect but perfect for you.Someday he will find you!

Expatriate said...

oh yeah ! el TV standards are killing all relationships .

Sorry wallah bas why the existance of the stereo time : Women don't seek good men, they seek the money in men's pocket !