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Friday, August 19, 2005

Humor

When English is your second language:

Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.

At a Budapest Zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD,GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.

Doctor's office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner, Japan:
COOLES AND HEATS: IF YOU WANT TO CONDITION OF COOL AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

In a Nairobi Restaurant:
CUSTOMER WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.

On an Athi River highway:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO, WE CAN HELP.

In a city restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.

Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.

Hotel Zurich:
BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE.

An advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS.

A laundry in Rome:
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand:
WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?

25 comments:

Salted-Caramel said...

Lool. Hilarious!

Aham shay "specialist in women and other diseases". I didn't know that women are a type of disease in Italy. I wonder how they're treated.

The Lobby in Zurich must be busy!

MissCosmoKuwait said...

LOL!...Too Funny..."would you like to ride on your own ass"....7elwaaaaa!

Hopeless Poet said...

"On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR"

Drink that and you will be hopeless like me :D

Spontaneousnessity said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Spontaneousnessity said...

OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO. LOL that's what I call beautiful mind :P

Jewaira said...

:) Funny

Ms.Baker said...

LOOOOOOL!

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS? "

Priceless.

MsB

dishevelled said...

LOL! Hilarious!!
Thanks! That really made me laugh ;P

samboose said...

That was a great thing to read first thing in a morning... i'm going to be alughing the rest of the day!!!
LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME. How Italian!!!

samanthaq8 said...

Hilarious:) I love the laundry in Rome bit LOL!

Papillona ® said...

hey guys
I'm glad it made you laugh :)

Flamingoliya said...

A laundry in Rome was the best.

Equalizer said...

LOL this really made my day! haha plzzzzzz more more more!

Ok I have seen this in a Hong Kong restaurant tolet: Please do not throw food in toilet. LOOL

Equalizer said...

Ok here is this continuation :p

1. On Sears hairdryer:

"Do not use while sleeping."

(But..., that's the only time I have to work on my hair)



2. On a bar of Dial soap:

"Directions: Use like regular soap."

(And that would be how. . . ?)



3. On some Swanson frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestions: Defrost."

(But it's "just" a suggestion)



4. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of box):

"Do not turn upside down."

(Oops, too late!)



5. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating."

(Hmm . . . .)



6. On packaging for a Rowenta iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body."

(But wouldn't this save even more time?)



7. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this

medication."

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents

if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those

forklifts.)



8. On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness."

(One would hope)



9. On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only."

(As opposed to underwater?)



10. On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use."

(I gotta admit, I'm curious.)



11. On Sainsbury's peanuts:

"Warning: Contains nuts."

(NEWS FLASH)



12. On a child's Superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

(I don't blame the company, I blame parents for this one.)



13. On a Swedish chain saw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands."

(Was there a chance of this happening somewhere? . . . Good grief!)



14. On a bottle of Palmolive Dishwashing liquid:

"Do not use on food."

(Hey, Mom, we're out of syrup! It's OK, honey, just grab the Palmolive!

Equalizer said...

More...

On a blanket from Taiwan -
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.

On a Taiwanese shampoo -
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists -
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.

On a Japanese product used to relieve painful hemorrhoids -
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.

In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles -
OPEN OTHER END.

On a bag of Fritos -
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a Korean kitchen knife -
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
(Dammit! Who are they to tell me what to do with my kids?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
(I'm glad they cleared that up)

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box -
FITS ONE HEAD.

E3younAlbak said...

hahahaha would you like to ride on your own ass hahahaha

Salted-Caramel said...

Equalizer: LOOL!!

Papillona ® said...

Equalizer LOL

ray said...

:D hilarious

hehe

samboose said...

LOOOOOOL

Equalizer said...

Oh I forgot to add that those have english as their FIRST language LOL!

PeTiTa said...

Kaaaaak very funny! : ) finally you guys updated!

Mama Fusla said...

Hong Kong Signs beats all:
TEETH EXTRACTED BY THE LATEST METHODISTS!! heheheh..

Sheba said...

HAHAHAHAHILARIOUS!

Anonymous said...

That's a great story. Waiting for more. Procedures for getting a divorce in texas