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Sunday, July 09, 2006

Never a Boyfriend

Submitted by Jewel



Both our mobile phones rang at the same time. After ending both our calls she said: “ it seems that we’re gonna waste our time talking to our boyfriends on the phone rather than doing X assignment today”.
My answer was: “I don’t have a boyfriend! That was Grandma I was speaking to on the phone”. Which was totally true, I mean come on how could I make that up? But something tells me she didn’t believe me.

It’s true I don’t believe in boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. To me it’s against any women’s rights to be respected and cherished.

Here’s a simple equation that shows what I mean:

Boyfriend = love + no promise of anything = disrespect for women

Fiancé = love + a public promise to me = respect

Husband = love + a public fulfillment of that promise = utmost form of respect to a woman

So you see when people tell me “so then how can you get married to someone you don’t know?” Well that’s why we have the “engagement period”, why does it have to be the degrading boyfriend/girlfriend relationship to know each other?




I do
Originally uploaded by dreadfuldan.


So yeah! I don’t intend to have a boyfriend and never will!

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

A promise is a lie in progress.

shady q80 said...

That was me :(

Flamingoliya said...

afa! qawiyya! :)
lets wait and see what Jewel has to say.

D said...

khosh. then get married and regret not having a boyfriend 4 years later.

Moayad said...

Well said sister..

It's good to see strong women like you :)

Anonymous said...

Jewel said...

@anonymous, pessimism will get you no where :)

@shady q80, that was you?

@flamy ana dayman qawia ;)

@I did and after 4 years didn't regret having a boyfriend and still don't and will not ;)

@moayad thanks, nice to hear that :)

{Every woman is a Jewel}

The Stallion said...

I have to disagree slightly with your theory! I think that people should go through the gf/bf stage before getting engaged!


I don't think a person should jump into an engagement with a stranger and consider that time as the "get to knowing the other person" stage! That should be done prior to the engagement! The engagement should be done after you get to know ther person for who s/he is then when you get engaged you find out the hidden attributes of the person!

This is just my opinion!

Anonymous said...

Jewel said...

@the stallion, thanks for sharing your opinion.
Here's the thing that puzzles me, you said... "I don't think a person should jump into an engagement with a stranger and consider that time as the "get to knowing the other person" stage! That should be done prior to the engagement!

that's the question, why not?

...The engagement should be done after you get to know ther person for who s/he is then when you get engaged you find out the hidden attributes of the person!

but why not? After all it is an engagement not a marriage contract and if you find bad attributes you can break it off. Bear in mind that most people (not all) who do have these kinds of relationships, do so behind the backs of their families. An engagement will illiminate such drastic measures and make everything out in the open
and will let the parents know that there will be no toying around because there is an engagement (a promise, a sign of respect).

{Every woman is a Jewel}

Anonymous said...

Jewel said...

one more thing that I would have liked to add to my post "Never a Boyfriend"


Here's another thing that I don't like about these kinds of relationships. If a guy wants to "test the waters" before settling down doesn't that seem disrespectful to the lady(ies) he's "testing the waters" with? Because if he hasn't proposed to his girlfriend it means that he's not that into her. Basically just a waste of time. Oh and the same applies to ladies who test the waters too!

I say all that with the belief that success in marriage has no correlation whatsoever with whether you've been dating around or by an arranged marriage. I tend to think of it more like a scratch-and-win, you never know what you got unless you scratch the grey material off (i.e. marriage). Another analogy people love to use is the marriage is like a melon...etc.

{Every woman is a Jewel}

Flamingoliya said...

Jewel, love the melon bit! :)

The Stallion said...

that's the question, why not?:

Just like a marriage the engagement is a sacred event! An engagement should be seen as a stage in a relationship and not the starting point! A person should feel ready to get engaged to a person since it is a large commitment! Dating is the starting point or the beginning of a game! The engagement is the center point or half time! Finally comes the sacred part of the relationship, marriage which with the right person could be one of the best things in the world or you can consider it as winning the worl cup!

but why not? After all it is an engagement not a marriage contract and if you find bad attributes you can break it off. Bear in mind that most people (not all) who do have these kinds of relationships, do so behind the backs of their families. An engagement will illiminate such drastic measures and make everything out in the open
and will let the parents know that there will be no toying around because there is an engagement (a promise, a sign of respect).


I think of an engagement to be a serious thing and breaking it up is a different and a smaller version of a divorce! As for the dating scene, the reason why people hide it is due to the fact that our society sees dating as taboo and the whole "som3a" is highly regarded to the point it seems like society is very insecure regarding it's reputations! Say, forexample, Kuwait didn't have the whole "som3a" atribute to it then you would have more people going out openly and people telling their parent's about thier relationships!

{Every woman is a Jewel}

You are right about that! Every woman is a jewel and she should be cherished and taken care of properly and not in an unsecure engagement which might be a ticking time bomb that might blow up into a break up, which I hope doesn't happen to all those out there who are in love!

Male With Class said...

Hey, i totally understand where you're coming from and definately agree. It's good to be able to hang on and not have a relationship until you're married. First, your husband will cherish you knowin that he's your first love. And if you've held yourself for that long without a relationship, it's safe to say you'll never want anyone else other than the one you will marry. Now i'm not sayin that those in previous relationships are any different, but, your chances are much higher. Good for you, clap clap. :)

No3iK said...

heeey ! this is my first time here,
this is the first post i read!
and god im glad i did.... :)

i mean atlast someone whos openminded thinks that way... ppl really need to know the truth not just copy paste what they see on tv!

glorifying boyfriend girlfriend ,, is the problem, having friends as in "only" friends is ok, but when u want to go to the next level, the least thing u should have is "respect"

any ways, i can say that i respect ur way of thinking
so thank u for a lovely refreshing post ;* now i can have a good morning ;)

Anonymous said...

Jewel said...

@Flaming, alas this one's not mine :P

@the stallion, hmm I thought that was a rhetorical question :) But thanks again for sharing some points on the matter. It’s always interesting to hear the opposing point of view.

@male with class, EXACTLY! I couldn't have said it any better.

@no3ik, :* back atchya! I loved your copy paste description BTW, that's so true!

{Every woman is a Jewel}

Vivacious said...

I applaud you

Jewaira said...

Love the new template girls! So fresh and summery...

Her said...

Interesting blog
Check out ours:
http://theitrevolution.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

You are still in the stone age!

Brava Valentia said...

Well said JEWEL, this is probably one of my fav posts in KC

keep rocking ;-)

Anonymous said...

Jewel said...

@Vivacious, thank you I appreciate your support :)

@Jewaira, yes I agree but I had nothing to do with it.

@her, glad it's not boring.

@anonymous, Me?! In the stone age?! Nah! that would not suit! There is no evidence of advanced relationships such as engagements or marriages back then!...Unless you count the Flintstones...in that case then OK ;)

@mother courage wow! thanks! it means a lot really :D

{Every woman is a Jewel}

MyBitchIsYourItch said...

if a woman has enough self respect, confidence, inner peace and stability, her respect will be earned and the boyfriend/fiance/husband or whatever level of relationship will not matter. If you need a man to make a public fullfillment of his love for you, YOU do not have enough self respect and security to trust him.

Cheers :)

DaNDoOoSha said...

your words are totally true. Its my first time to read your blog and what you said about the boyfriend and girlfriend issue is so real .. if a man really loves a woman these days he should propose and then they live an engangement period so they know each other

Anonymous said...

Jewel said...
Sorry I did not know there were additional comments on this post until now, I am but a guest writer here.
So...

@myb...etc
What you're saying is interesting but has no application whatsoever in the real world, and is borderline if not completely utopian. So lets make an analogy: lets say we have two people each equally cultured and educated in matters of astronomy, physics, law and medicine (whoa that’s a lot!). However one of those two people does not have a single diploma to prove that he/she learned all that stuff, but the other person does.

Which one in (real life!) is more likely to find a suitable job? Does the non-diploma person have enough "self respect and security" to find a job that fulfils all the stuff he/she learned?

Keep in mind they’re both equally educated the only difference is the proof, a mere piece of paper, hmm just like marriage perhaps?

It has nothing to do with how much "enough self respect, confidence, inner peace and stability" a person has, it has however, very much to do with proof.
What’s the use of learning and knowing all those fields without getting a diploma (proof)?
No diploma means no suitable job for the stuff that person learned, no suitable job means no due respect will be earned for all the effort given in learning all that stuff in the first place.

It's just basic human rights (womens' rights to be specific)

@DaNDoOoSha, glad you’re in the light. It saddens me to see the amount of young ladies that get suckered into this mumbo jumbo.




{every woman is a Jewel}

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